Hate is strong word. I hate slugs – they are super slimy pointless creatures. I hate Sunday nights as it means I have to go to work the next day. But I don’t hate Instagram. Far from it. So much so in my last blog I told you how Instagram is an addiction for me.
But with every thing you love there are aspects that frustrate me, things that bug me, gripes that wind me up. So…as I’ve had a bit of a rubbish day – I thought I’d share some of my ‘gramming gripes with you to get things off my chest.
If you’ve seen my gallery you might think this is an odd frustration to share. I use frames all the time on my pictures. I always use the sierra filter as it creates a subtle grading affect to the coloured sky and I always use the attached sierra frame too – it’s kind of my trademark. My issue is that the lovely people at Instagram – and I genuinely think they are lovely people – never choose photos that include a frame in any of their WHP features. I don’t know why this is. It kind of makes me wonder why the app includes frames at all when they don’t seem to feature and promote them. It’s a shame not to include a frame. I might tell them that. Who do I contact?
This is a no-brainer. Post shots that are in focus and wobble-free, not ones filtered through the beer goggles you wore last night. And while you’re at it, don’t overdo the tiltshift option. Remember Instagram is a visual social network and Instagrammers aren’t fans about stuff they can’t see.
My dislike of the selfie isn’t going to halt the phenomenon of the twentieth century. I’ve accepted that and I’ve learnt to quickly whizz past any selfies that appear on my feed. The odd one or two I might even like. But when people overdose on them I find it infuriating. Even if you’re a supermodel I don’t want to see close ups of your face in various angles from morning to night. If there’s one thing worse than a selfie – it’s a selfie in a gym. If you’re going to post a selfie make it interesting, make it fun, make it different. And one selfie a week is good with me.
Blandness need obliterating. I’m not asking for biogs to be expertly written or give every detail about your personal life, but an Instagrammer who puts a little effort in their bio I’m sure will be well rewarded with doubletaps. Give people a little insight into your humour, your life or where in the world you’re based and your interaction will be more fruitful I’m sure.
Dogs in dicky-bows:
Sorry but no. Animals in costumes, even comedy ones, are pointless. Non-dressed up animals are fine. But cats in top hats or snakes in shirts are a no-no for me I’m afraid.
If I’ve annoyed you with any of the above I’m sorry. I don’t mean to drive you up the wall by talking about things that drive me up the wall. Leave a comment here or on my account if you don’t agree with me. And just to say, my gallery is far from perfect. So in the interests of fairness below are 3 of my own photos that I hate and wished I hadn’t posted. Feel free to agree.
This photo has terrible composition and a horrible use of tilt shift. The sky colours are too extreme and probably trying to disguise the awfulness of it all. Not sure what I was trying to achieve here but it really didn’t work.
The problem with this shot is simple. It’s boring. Maybe losing the central bird would have made it slightly more interesting. But this photo is definitely one I shouldn’t have posted.
The bird looks like a blob. The roof is unsymmetrical. The chimney unbalances what little composition is there. I shouldn’t have even taken this photo in the first place. Fact.
I’m Tony Hammond. I’m UK based. I’m a total Instagram-addict and I wish I had more time to play on my Xbox. Find me on Instagram at @iamtonyhammond and say hi!